An AI Generated (chatGPT) image of what the selection process might look like if the 7 Wonders Selection Committee were made up of identical ferrets. Evidently, chatGPT has only one ferret image in it's database.

You may ask yourself,
"What is that beautiful house?"
You may ask yourself,
"Where does that highway go to?"
And you may ask yourself,
“How does something go about becoming an official Wonder of Evansville?“

Obviously, we asked David Byrne, but he never responded or returned our phone calls, and eventually his lawyers sent us a letter telling us to stop and go away.

Moving forward from that awkwardness, we engaged in a lengthy nomination/research/vetting process to determine a manageable list of finalists for our outstanding panel of experts to review. We then locked them in a room with a case of 12 ounce bottles of Ski, two boxes of barbecued Grippo’s, and one 30-count Crave Case from White Castle. We are legally prevented from disclosing what happened behind those closed doors (duh, that’s why they were closed), but transcripts will be released in 70 years pending pending legal action from the estates of those involved. We will acknowledge that there was an unfortunate incident with a ferret, but that’s all that we are able to say at this time.

Nonetheless, after 8 1/2 hours of witty repartee, attempted humor, and enough sarcasm to fill a freight train pulling into Howel Yards, pungent white smoke was seen drifting out and up from the opening under the door indicating that a decision had been made: the 7 Wonders of Evansville had been approved!

Without question, there were some extremely qualified candidates that did not make the cut: the USI Cone, all of the painted steel figures up in Daylight (quite possibly the 8th Wonder, if we counted that high), the White House on Taylor at Rotherwood, Mr. Fence, to name but a few. Each of these oddities could be chart toppers in any other market – but this is Evansville. Our wonders game is strong.

Let’s all agree right now to abandon any notion that the Ohio River is a wonder. It is muddy, filled with industrial waste, commercial farming chemical runoff, small town sewage, and it smells like dead fish. Besides, it’s something that we share with Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Louisville, and even Paducah. The wonders that we’re talking about are truly unique and awesome monuments to our culture, attitudes, and, quite frankly, the Evansvillian way of life.